Moving On
There’s a lot I don’t talk about publicly, but one thing that’s universal is that I have the uncanny ability, or fault, to move on quickly.
One of my quirks is that I can block someone completely out of my psyche, as if they do not exist to me. This is a habit I got into when I was on the road, when I wanted to forget the friends I’d made in an area…and the enemies. I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, I can’t do this as easily as I used too.
I believe that when you love someone, you want to see them happy. If their happiness cannot be found with you, then you need to step out of the way. In a strange conglomeration of this belief and low self-esteem, I would get out of the way when the person I was dating wanted to be with someone else. Their happiness meant someone, or something, was more than I could give them. As was my life’s tradition, I would cross paths with someone long enough to see them through something, and then move on.
My most recent and pivotal ex was different; I liken that breakup to coming out of the water, only because I realized how much I was losing myself in that relationship. It was doomed long before it was officially over, and it was officially over long before I mentioned it on the net. I know that we never could have worked, knowing the type of personality I was. I’m never going to be completely grown or mature. I may one day rise above being self-destructive, but my inner child will always be well-nurtured.
Knowing that I could never make Sam happy, even after giving it my all, coupled with the knowledge that she is doing better without me (relocating near her family and re-entering school), that’s what allows me to move on quickly.
Some people are hurt by the knowledge that their ex might be better off without them; I’m not some people. When you love someone, their happiness is what matters. You either aid them in getting there or you stand by them as they achieve it on their own. Or you get out of the way.
The sooner you do that, the sooner the person you’re supposed to be with makes themselves available.
I sincerely believe this. This is why I can move on so quickly.
(c) Avery K. Tingle for Modern Magic Enterprises LTD and Nomadic Productions LLC
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