Akting Out

It took me a long time to come to this. I’m a geek, and I have two problems because of it; number one, I’m very proud of it. Number two, and this is the big one, I honestly couldn’t care less what other people think of me.

Now, this is not in relation to anyone I know now. I’ll be honest; I went into work these past few weeks expecting to be shunned. Instead, everyone’s been pretty decent. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

Here’s what it really boils down to; someone becomes interested in me, platonically or otherwise. Things are all well and good until they find out that it’s not an act; I really do like Attack of the Show and I’m more interested in E3 than who’s on top of Britney Spears.
After that, I usually get the what-did-I-step-in treatment.

And it’s not just me; what is it about our interests that make us targets? Honestly, I would prefer to be left alone. Still, I have been derided, even called a child on occassion, because I’m a geek. At my old job, someone overheard me listening to Enya and asked me; “You don’t really listen to that crap, do you?”

No, I’m testing the batteries in my stereo and my ears to make sure they still work. Are you serious? Get the fuck out of here.

The world only ‘embraced’ me when I proved that I had a capacity for violence. What really makes me sick is that I was so desperate for acceptance that I gave into that mentality.

I’m a little older and a lot less wild; I’m proud of who I am because of what it took to bring myself here. If I’m able to teach my kids anything, I’d like to tell them to be proud of who they are, no matter what anyone else says, because if you change yourself to suit someone else, then you forfeit your identity.

As for me? I’m a geek. Deal with it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my latest issue of ‘Wired’ came today, and I’m going to get into it. After I clean the kitchen.

(c) Avery K. Tingle for Akting Out LLC

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