I passionately despise traditional salespeople; and telemarketers in particular. In this I’m not alone; general loathing for telemarketers tends to range somewhere between the Third Reich and the LAPD. I don’t blame anyone for feeling this way. Occasionally, I receive calls on my cell phone (my freaking cell phone?! Are you serious?!) from my cable company trying to get me to pay for something I don’t need. Often, out of sympathy, I’m polite. But I don’t want to hear it and get off the phone as quickly as possible.
What I hate most about traditional salespeople/telemarketers is that they reek phony; the plastic smiles, the fake camaraderie, the façade that they care about you when they’re more interested in what’s in your back pocket. I may be many things, but I am not phony.
Now, I should probably take this moment to say that not all salespeople and telemarketers have a personality as appealing as something you just stepped in. I’ve come across quite a few genuine people who work in the profession and honestly care about the people they deal with. It is these people who never seem to last, though.
One of my hustles was to get a telemarketing job, usually while I was healing. I would stay at this job until my bosses realized that I had no intention of selling strangers, and then bounce—usually with a nice little piece of change in my pocket. Truthfully, I expected to do the same thing at this job. Although it’s still very much a sales job, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how differently they do things. They invest more into your training than any other job I’ve been at. Thanks to the training and access to the product I’m selling, I’m not so bad at this job. There’s still no sense of security, but at least I’m succeeding.
Telemarketing is a tricky hustle; you have five seconds or less to convince a total stranger, sight unseen, that you are worth their time. What fascinates me about this job—and the people I work with, all of whom were kind enough to allow me to use their real names in this blog—is how we manage to get our customer’s attention. So many things factor into the initial five seconds; tone, inflection, and pace of voice. Being able to accurately read the customer’s reaction and respond appropriately. The real challenge—and where I fail—is convincing someone to spend more money than they need to. I do my best when I am able to save people money.
We all have our reasons for doing this. Me? Same reason I do everything else; I love the challenge. I tend not to participate in the promotions (unless they involve time off) because it’s just one more thing to keep track of. If it’s meant to come to me, than it will. I’m in this for the fight. The moment I live for is when I am exhausted, usually dealing with the beginning of a headache, and I’ve had someone on the phone for ten minutes when they finally agree to buy what I’m selling. That’s what I live for.
We take over one hundred calls a day. On average, we sell a tenth of them. The rest of the time, we’re being called every name under the sun and told to do very bad things with our mothers.
In this job, I have also spent more time around people than I have in a long time. I can listen to some of the people I work with forever, because they’re natural salespeople. I can’t tell if they’re being genuine or they’re just after the bottom line, but these are the ones who keep my attention the most.
Dorothy is someone I actually look forward to seeing at work. She’s the only person who doesn’t seem to ‘switch modes’ when she gets on the phone. Her technique is happiness; no matter what, she’s always smiling, always goofy, and her customer’s pick up on that. It is the cheerfulness in her voice that either disarms or infuriates the people she talks too. She seems to do well with female senior citizens, probably because she’s so endearing. The thing I like about her is that when she gets of the phone, she’s the exact same way. She’s one of the genuine people I know at the job, and she can make anyone laugh in any situation.
Brad is arguably the best salesperson we have on our team, and to be honest, the boy scares the hell out of me. Brad chases his money down harder than any hustler I’ve ever come across. If he’s not on the phone at work, he’s on his cell phone, either buying something he intends to sell or selling something. Always, always, always about the bottom line—and he’s damn good at it. What scares me is that as hard as I try to read the kid, I can’t tell if he’s genuine or the world’s greatest con artist. Off the phone, he’s a nonchalant, easygoing country boy who doesn’t care what others think of him. I like him; I’m just not sure what to make of him. I’m never sure what to make of anyone who never appears to get upset.
Lacey…Lacey is something else. Her weapon is her voice; she has a very singsong, hypnotic, melodic voice that makes you feel bad if you insult her. Her other weapon is that she is very, very good at making people see what she wants them to see. This isn’t to say that she’s a bad person, not in the least. In fact, she’s a very sweet young girl. But the innocence is an act that hides a new bad girl’s fledgling curiosity.
Ray is a younger, less angry version of myself. He carries his contagious energy onto the phone, barely keeping it in check long enough to sound professional—and he puts numbers on the board. He has the stress of a young player, taking nothing seriously, very popular with the girls in the office (if they don’t want to kill him). He was among the first to reach out to me, and I’ve actually had a couple of adventures with the kid. Occasionally I see flashes of seriousness in his eyes—he knows reality is closing in on him, and his playing time is limited. I think it’s this knowledge that impresses me most about him; he’s not stupid.
These are just four people who have the biggest impact on me at work. The fifth one I’m not mentioning—Reya—I’m staying quiet about until I figure out how to sum her up. Mostly, she’s a kindred spirit and a little sister.
We all come from different backgrounds, and we are all on this job for different reasons. The tie that binds us is that when we get on the phones, we become single-minded in our dealing with the customers. None of us, not even Brad, have an easy job. You have to be a little crazy to do it. I think we lean on each other in times of weakness, brag up our successes, but in the end, we’re all just trying to make it.
Telemarketers are people too, and we’re just trying to earn a living. Keep that in mind if we happen to call.
(c) Avery K. Tingle for Modern Magic Enterprises LTD and Nomadic Productions LLC
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