Akting Out

I started writing two or three years ago; up until then, I was only bitching about my childhood on myspace. Somehow, I found out about the wonderful world of web fiction, and it was off to the races. I’d been living with Universal Warrior, in one form or another, for almost two decades. I had originally wanted to start the story in the modern period, the era I knew best, but I had never explored the actual battle between Angels and Demons before, so Uprising became my first public venture as a writer. By my own standards, it started well, but was a disaster by the time the story finally wrapped up last year; suddenly, I’m managing blogs, promoting the story every which way on every social networking site I can get my hands on, and most importantly, writing copy. The story was released as a weekly serial, and cramming everything into seven days turned out to be more than I could handle. I kept pushing things back to the point where I walked away from the story altogether for almost a month. By the time I came back, I had no idea what was going on, and, well, let’s say the comments stopped coming as quickly. I’m glad the story wasn’t eviscerated. To my face, anyway.

Then, amidst the blogs, stories, and delays, something amazing happened; someone found my work and shared it with the world. Suddenly I was meeting all sorts of people who were just as creative and passionate about it as I was (mostly in Australia). I was introduced to this very supportive network of writers and artists who just wanted to make it, plus, they were willing to help anyone else along the way, once they saw one was willing to make the effort. Through this network, I met someone from my hometown, ironically, who was putting together a horror anthology and asked me to contribute.

There was no way I ever imagined seeing my writing in print, holding it in my hands. Suddenly a dream and hobby turn into a very attainable career. And now that I’m here, I’ve found myself asking what the next step is.

I’ve never thought you could stagnate and be successful. You have to keep growing, keep acknowledging your own weaknesses and then overcoming them. You have to keep challenging yourself.

I’ve never been good at planning, that’s where I’m weak. I still struggle with the fantasy that I’ll write a miracle best-seller that will land me the world’s fattest payment, allowing me to walk away from whatever job I may have at the moment and spend the rest of my life doing what I love. Yeah, that’s probably not going to happen.

I can write, though. I do have several goals in mind, and someplace I’d like to be in six years. Instead of wishing on a miracle (because let’s be honest, even for people who work hard, miracles are hard to come by), I can plan to see my dreams through…one step at a time. Patience is something else I’d like to be better at, anyway.

Honestly, it’ll probably be a long time before I’m able to quit my job, but luckily, I’m good at it. Here’s what I’d like to do next year, and I’ll have to flesh this out on my own this week.

• Complete at least two books, which includes the nearly-complete Atherean Defenders, due out early next year.
• Complete one screenplay (which will either revolve around my own IP or DC’s Blackest Night)
• Develop a Writing Blog
• Explore other storytelling mediums, such as podcasting and machinima
• Earn a certain amount of money on my writing)

Doing this will allow me to develop a backlist of titles and provide my readers with a catalog. It’ll also allow me to expand my skills as a screenwriter, and maybe sometime in 2011, I can finally get into animated filmmaking. It’s not much, but it’s something to build off of.

Thank you for reading, and all of the support thus far.

(c) Avery K. Tingle for Akting Out LLC

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If I had to liken myself to any two objects, the first would be one of those pullback/release type of toy cars. You know how they feel when you pull them back; as though they’re about to explode out of your hands? Well, when you let me go, I’ll charge ahead blindly at full speed, until I hit the wall.

Another object would be a bullet. Once fired, I would usually destroy my target without caring about collateral damage. I was one who very much believed that the ends justified the means.

I’m not as reckless as I used to be. In fact, the older I get, the more things come into perspective.

I should’ve done something about my children a long time ago, but I didn’t, and I try not to waste time lamenting things that cannot be changed. Here and now is what I have to work with. I am terrified of being a single father. At nineteen, I edited out Eminem CD’s and allowed my son to sing along, and at thirty-two, I’m wondering what the hell I was thinking. I don’t engage in random acts of violence. I don’t even dress the same way anymore.

In short, I’m not going to have any idea what I’m doing.

I will have help—for which I’m grateful—but in the end, these two children are my responsibility, as I’m the one who brought them into this world. I don’t believe I’m any less guilty than their mother—we both left—and no matter what arrangement I work out with my children, I will never abandon them again.

I enjoy helping people and making a difference in people’s lives, even if it’s people I don’t know. I do this largely because I believe in karma, but also, it’s the right thing to do; I’ve had a lot of people help me for no reason throughout the years, I feel almost obligated to return the favor. My problem is that I don’t know as much as I think I do, and I absolutely hate to say no to someone in need. I used to habitually say yes and then apologize later, feeling guilty that I failed.

Okay, I admit to being pretty screwed up.

I’ve come to realize that there are things I know, and things I’m very good at, and those things I can pass on.

I would still like to create a place that encourages creative freedom; a place where writers, artists, and other creative minds can meet and bring their dreams to life without (too much) restraint. I have no idea how to do this right now, but when it’s time, I’m sure I’ll figure something out. Maybe I’ll use the little traction I have as a writer.

I’d like to be able to work as a full-time writer. I had a little taste of it last month; as unbelievable as it seems, I paid the bills using nothing but my imagination. It’s an addictive, galvanizing sensation, and I want more of it. Besides, being able to work from home allows me to spend more time with my kids…and family.

So there it is. This is what I’m about now, this is what I dream about, this is what I’m working for.

Maybe the next time I speak of my dreams, I’ll be able to compare myself to something less destructive than a bullet.

From the publish button to God’s ear.

(c) Avery K. Tingle for Akting Out LLC

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