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Part One: Red Morning

“Are you sure this is safe?” Bethany asked hesitantly, firmly gripping the outside rail of the bridge behind her. She dared to lean over, peering down four miles into the Atherean Sea below. Vertigo quickly set in as the water challenged her; rising and receding quickly. She leaned back against the cold iron railing, checking the multi-colored elastic rope fastened to her waist. Jayce, her older brother to her right, looked into the clear blue ocean as though he couldn’t wait to dive–again. Shirtless, wings pinned at his back, he was nearly hyperventilating with excitement. “Yes, Beth.” He replied, trying not to show impatience. “Look, this was your idea. If you’d rather we took you home…”

“I don’t wanna go home…” Beth objected, shaking her head, mindful that she was grasping the railing. “I just didn’t know how far a fall it was and…”

Darryl, older brother on the left, looked to Jayce knowingly. “I told you she was too little for this.”

Jayce smirked. Beth whirled on her brother. “I am not too little! I’m almost eight!”

Darryl reached down to Bethany, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t we try this again, Beth, when you’re nine? It won’t look so scary then…” His tone was blatantly condescending, and Beth scowled. “I’m not scared!” She lied, “Watch, I’ll even go first!”

Darryl and Jayce watched with astonished terror as Bethany threw herself from the bridge, plummeting headfirst towards the sea. They leapt after her, arms outstretched to catch her even as she placed her arms at her sides, accelerating.

She closed her eyes and smiled; the wind frapping against her face, the scent of fresh sea-salt, and the seagulls calling in the distance as though welcoming her…for a moment, she understood why her brothers did this for fun.

Then she nearly forgot what she was supposed to do.

She opened her eyes and outstretched her arms–the water was now yards away and closing fast–she had to focus, focus…thirty yards, twenty yards, ten yards…

Now she could hear her brother’s Reaching into her head, yelling at her in genuine horror, screaming at her to loose her wings, for paralysis was only scant feet away The water was so close that she could perceive stripes of swimming fish…

Something burst from her shoulder blades; her descent leveled out and saved her from what would’ve been a disastrous belly flop–why didn’t the rope break?–and she quickly found herself arcing upwards, forcing her wings to flap, pushing the wind behind her, and rising to safety–

A deafening, bone-crunching impact was heard below as something hit the water with so much force that droplets shot several feet up. Instinctively, she Reached out to her brothers even as she turned…and could only feel Jayce. His attention was now entirely focused on Darryl, and Bethany realized with horror that she had been given the wrong rope; Darryl’s swung lifelessly in the breeze, hanging from the bridge.

Bethany heard Jayce use the knife he kept at his ankle to cut his own rope and fall freely into the water.

Then all was silent.

Not even the seagulls could be heard after a moment. The world went still.

Bethany Reached; nothing conscious came back; only wrenching, horrible agony from deep within the water. She stifled tears as she tried not to imagine how much pain the fall had caused Darryl. Strangely, she could no longer feel Jayce.

Suddenly exhausted as she realized she had not stopped flapping her new wings, Bethany hung in the air and dropped slowly towards the water. She frowned, certain that her eyes were playing tricks; the water appeared discolored as she drew closer, opaque and…

by Yang, is that a leg…?!

Something exploded through the surface, something that stole the breath from her body. It was pale blue, eight long tentacles that shot upwards towards her, threatening to draw her into an monstrous center that was only teeth. It roared like nothing she’d heard before, like metal scraping against metal.

Bethany tried to flap and push herself away from the thing, but it shot its eight arms downward and rocketed towards her. Terrified, whimpering as the thing came for her, Bethany tried to turn and fly away, but it managed to take hold of her left wing and tore it off, yanking violently to severe the feathery muscles.

Bethany’s vision swam; she couldn’t scream as she fell. As consciousness left her, she didn’t feel the pleasantness that accompanied a body going into self-healing; this was something else, something wrong, as though she would never open her eyes again.

Fear kept her awake, but only barely. The thing eating her was distracted; busy drinking the blood that ran from her wound into the sea. It was down there, waiting for her…what is that thing…

Something caught her; the sudden jolt momentarily brought her back to her senses. She looked up to her rescuer and saw Darryl, a look of pain and horror unlike anything she’d ever seen on him before; bleeding from his head, bite marks on both arms, wings shredded, she could feel a few fingers of his missing…along with one of his legs. He wasn’t blinking; she didn’t even think he was breathing. He was ascending on pure willpower, trying to get them back to the bridge before…

The metal roar erupted from behind them. Bethany looked down and saw that the Thing was coming back for them. Darryl grunted and hurled Bethany up towards the bridge with everything he had. The Thing wrapped a tentacle around Darryl’s waist and yanked him back towards the sea; Bethany managed to cling the railing before watching him dragged under.

Stay awake, she told herself, forcing herself over the railing and collapsing on the other side. She could no longer walk, think…she reached out helplessly to a carriage passing by and was relieved as they slowed down. “Help me…please…”

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(c) Avery K. Tingle for Akting Out LLC

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“Diamond Dust” Reviewed

Diamond Dust” by Frances Gonzalez revolves around a young girl named Max who has lived with a voice predicting the apocalypse since she was four.

Thirteen chapters into this story, what really grabs me is how well-illustrated the environments and character relationships are. Ms. Gonzalez brings Boston to life with ease and vivid clarity, making for a personal and very plausible read. You feel as though you walk directly beside Max, through the outdoor bustle of a shopping center to a symphony performance. The words come together very well, stringing together nicely to paint incredibly vivid imagery.

Equally plausible is the relationship between the characters, especially Max and her mother. A scene I particularly enjoyed was when Max was caught sneaking back into the small apartment she shared with her mother. Her mother’s irritation turning to anger makes one wonder how often Ms. Gonzalez may have snuck in herself, to be able to recall parental reactions with such detail. Also enjoyable is Max in this exchange; although her resistance when opening up with her mother could be dismissed as typical teenage angst, in truth, she’s holding something far more sinister back. But I won’t tell you what it is. You should read this story to find out.

I really don’t have any complaints about this story. Ms. Gonzalez uses a theme on blogspot that makes the story easy to read without straining the eyes. No entry is very lengthy, and the depths of her characters makes you want to know how it will all end out. A very solid, enjoyable read, and I look forward to resuming.

You can find a copy of this review at Web Fiction Guide. If you’re looking for more of the web’s best fiction, you should also check out Muse’s Success.

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(c) Avery K. Tingle for Akting Out LLC

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